This is going to be sort of an odd post, but apparently it's something that's really been bugging me since I've had a couple of dreams about it.
Seven years ago I met Patrick. We dated for a little while and were officially in a serious relationship for eight months. It ended, and not particularily well. But we later got to be friends again. He had a habit of disappearing occasionally, but we reconnected the fall after I met Anthony, and we had dinner and hung out and talked and watched a movie. It was really nice to be able to talk to him and I really thought that we were going to stay in contact. But he disappeared again without a trace. I emailed him a few times, and called, but he never answered the emails and his phone number had been changed. The phone number wasn't so much of a surprise, I've never seen anyone change their phone more often than he did, but it really made me sad. I've been hoping he'll somehow reappear; without any luck.
Last month Anthony and I went to go see Macbeth at MeadowBrook Theater with my parents. On the drive home we stopped to get gas. Anthony went in to get water, and two guys came out and got in a truck. The truck backed up in front of me, and then paused. I stared at the driver, and he stared back at me. It felt like an electric shock and being kicked in the chest. Every tiny part of me KNEW that was Patrick. I sat there, stunned, and DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. I didn't wave, I didn't smile, I didn't get out of the car and run over to the truck. I was completely frozen and I don't know why. All it would have taken was for me to do something, anything...and I would have known. Sure, I would have been a little embarrassed if it hadn't been him, but I would have survived it. And it was at a nice, clean, well-lit gas station with my boyfriend 20 yards away, it would have been safe enough. Instead...I sat there with my mouth open and did nothing. I let the truck drive away and now I'll never know.
And since, I've been dreaming about him. No, get your minds out of the gutter...not that kind of dreaming. Dreams where we have a mutual friend who gets us in contact again, or we somehow stumble across each other. Dreams where I'm smart enough to do something. I had another one last night, and I'll never forget how elated I was. I was so unbelievably happy to be talking to him again, and when I woke up, how disappointed that it wasn't true. I do have one way I could possibly get ahold of him. His sister is rather well known in the fashion industry in New York and an author, and I could contact her. But I only met her once, and since I'm not actually a crazed stalker, I wouldn't ever do it. But it's so tempting.
I'm sure some people think I'm insane. How could I possibly care so much about some random ex from forever ago. Well, I do. It's as simple as that. I care deeply about all of my friends. Call it crazy, or blame it on the fact that I'm an only child. But I would walk through fire for any of my friends. And despite, well everything, Patrick was a friend too. And I can't just stop caring about someone I loved so deeply. This isn't some weird relationship issue I can't get over. Or a longing for a past boyfriend. I don't want to dredge up our past and understand what went wrong. I've already been through that. I don't need the past boyfriend, I need the friend. So if you're out there Patrick, whatever your reasons for disappearing again, don't let them stop you from getting back in contact with me. I miss you.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Kitty Pictures
Mercury
Ra
I thought I'd put up a few new pictures of my adorable kitties. Hopefully I'll be able to take some new ones of the bunnies soon too, now that Jack is feeling better.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
What I've Been Reading...Books!
Since I have the tendency to go through books at an alarming rate, I am always borrowing ones from Erin. Most recently she got me started on the George R.R. Martin series, A Song of Ice and Fire. It was a little mind boggling at first thanks to the 9 million characters. I spent the first 50 pages of the first book, A Game of Thrones, going "wait...who the hell is that??". It doesn't help that each chapter is from a different character's perspective and that there are several characters with similar sounding names.
I was complaining about it to a friend who is also reading the books and said, "you know it would really help if they had some sort of chart or detailed descriptions in the back explaining all of this..." He said, "oh, mine does, but I have a hardcover, maybe the paperback is different.." so I complained some more about the fact that the paperback readers got shafted. Three days later the book happened to fall open to a page near the back that had pages and pages of descriptions of EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER IN THE BOOK. Um, yeah.
Note to self: next time, don't just look at the very last page in the book. It might just be the chapter from the next book in the series. But before that, there might be an entire appendix explaining all of the characters just to make you look like an idiot.
I borrowed the first three books from Erin a few months ago, and I am almost done with the second, A Clash of Kings. I don't read nearly as much as I used to, but Monday nights and Saturday mornings have become my reading times. On Monday nights Anthony likes to do this terrible thing to torture me. Something that makes me question why in the hell I ever wanted to date him in the first place. He likes STAR TREK. (shudders) And not even the old cheesy ones with Patrick Stewart, a man who manages to bring a bit of class to even the dorkiness that is Star Trek. Anthony is such a big geek that he watches the new Star Trek. Oh the horror. Since I actually do like him for some strange reason, and throttling him with my bare hands or throwing heavy objects through his large and expensive TV in a Star Trek induced rage aren't really good options...
I escape upstairs to the bedroom to read on the bed and snuggle one of the cats. Or to the bathroom where I draw a nice bubble bath, light a few candles and drink tea while I read. Usually also accompanied by a cat dipping his paws into the water and shaking them off, in order to fling as much water as possible all over the bathroom. The most recent bath also involved Ra climbing onto the few square inches of my chest that weren't submerged in the water and balancing there for no apparent reason. And people wonder why I don't want children. All I have to say is there is no way I am willing to give up my uninterrupted reading and bath time. The cat can always be locked out of the bathroom and left to fend for himself.
On Saturday mornings I get up at my usual time (9am) and come downstairs to curl up on the couch to read for an hour or so while Anthony sleeps in. Once it's finally warm out I will probably go out to the screened in porch, or the deck or the balcony off the bedroom to read. We don't have a single bit of furniture for any of those spaces yet. But I do having a hanging basket chair at my parents' house that will probably go on the porch. Eventually all three places will be nice little retreats for me to read on. I have a vision in my head of the porch with linen curtains billowing in a breeze and the basket chair with a comfy cushion to curl up in while I drink iced tea and listen to the splashing of my fountain. I want to sit on the balcony at a bistro table sipping coffee made in my French Press while I read. I want to lay on a nice fluffy beach towel on the deck reading for a few hours, moving only to stay out of the sun. After all, what self respecting bookworm like myself would be caught dead tanning. I like my pasty whiteness thankyouverymuch. After all, the light reflecting onto the pages from my face make it SO much easier to read...
I was complaining about it to a friend who is also reading the books and said, "you know it would really help if they had some sort of chart or detailed descriptions in the back explaining all of this..." He said, "oh, mine does, but I have a hardcover, maybe the paperback is different.." so I complained some more about the fact that the paperback readers got shafted. Three days later the book happened to fall open to a page near the back that had pages and pages of descriptions of EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER IN THE BOOK. Um, yeah.
Note to self: next time, don't just look at the very last page in the book. It might just be the chapter from the next book in the series. But before that, there might be an entire appendix explaining all of the characters just to make you look like an idiot.
I borrowed the first three books from Erin a few months ago, and I am almost done with the second, A Clash of Kings. I don't read nearly as much as I used to, but Monday nights and Saturday mornings have become my reading times. On Monday nights Anthony likes to do this terrible thing to torture me. Something that makes me question why in the hell I ever wanted to date him in the first place. He likes STAR TREK. (shudders) And not even the old cheesy ones with Patrick Stewart, a man who manages to bring a bit of class to even the dorkiness that is Star Trek. Anthony is such a big geek that he watches the new Star Trek. Oh the horror. Since I actually do like him for some strange reason, and throttling him with my bare hands or throwing heavy objects through his large and expensive TV in a Star Trek induced rage aren't really good options...
I escape upstairs to the bedroom to read on the bed and snuggle one of the cats. Or to the bathroom where I draw a nice bubble bath, light a few candles and drink tea while I read. Usually also accompanied by a cat dipping his paws into the water and shaking them off, in order to fling as much water as possible all over the bathroom. The most recent bath also involved Ra climbing onto the few square inches of my chest that weren't submerged in the water and balancing there for no apparent reason. And people wonder why I don't want children. All I have to say is there is no way I am willing to give up my uninterrupted reading and bath time. The cat can always be locked out of the bathroom and left to fend for himself.
On Saturday mornings I get up at my usual time (9am) and come downstairs to curl up on the couch to read for an hour or so while Anthony sleeps in. Once it's finally warm out I will probably go out to the screened in porch, or the deck or the balcony off the bedroom to read. We don't have a single bit of furniture for any of those spaces yet. But I do having a hanging basket chair at my parents' house that will probably go on the porch. Eventually all three places will be nice little retreats for me to read on. I have a vision in my head of the porch with linen curtains billowing in a breeze and the basket chair with a comfy cushion to curl up in while I drink iced tea and listen to the splashing of my fountain. I want to sit on the balcony at a bistro table sipping coffee made in my French Press while I read. I want to lay on a nice fluffy beach towel on the deck reading for a few hours, moving only to stay out of the sun. After all, what self respecting bookworm like myself would be caught dead tanning. I like my pasty whiteness thankyouverymuch. After all, the light reflecting onto the pages from my face make it SO much easier to read...
Monday, April 16, 2007
What I've Been Watching...Movies
Movies: In the past few weeks we've actually seen quite a few movies. Either rented or on tv.
Munich: I had heard a lot of great things about this movie, but hadn't quite been in the right mood to watch it. I am glad I did though. It was definitely worth it. It was sad, and wonderful at the same time, and nearly impossible to describe. Despite being a Spielberg movie, it didn't really feel like one. It was more simple, and much less showy than I would have expected.
All the King's Men: This was an interesting movie. I'm glad I saw it, and it was good. But I can't exactly say that I enjoyed it. I don't exactly know how to describe how I feel about it, other than it left me with a feeling of "huh...".
The Pursuit of Happyness: I really enjoyed this. Will Smith was incredible, and so was his son. It was well written, and well acted, and one of the few movies that I'd ever describe as being touching. And it was all done without being cheesy. Which is nothing short of miraculous. Movies that get promoted as being heartwarming and uplifting usually bore me to tears and end up being trite and overdone. I was incredibly surprised by how well the story was put together. It was a really worthwhile movie.
Children of Men: I really wanted to enjoy this movie, but I was disappointed. It wasn't bad. And I'm not sorry I saw it, but it seemed like there was so much more they could have done with it. I expected more to the story than what they showed. I wanted more back story about how the infertility began. And for them to take the story further at the end and explain why it suddenly ended. I think I was expecting a story more like 1984 or Brave New World. I expected it to be about government control and how it was overthrown. Maybe if I hadn't gone into it expecting that I would have been less disappointed.
Inside Man: This movie was better than I expected. I was expecting a basic action flick and it was much much more entertaining than that. It was also really funny, which I hadn't thought it would be at all. It was an Ocean's Eleven heist plot twist type movie. Definitely worth seeing, and something I'd actually want to watch again.
Capote: I'd been wanting to see this movie for a while too. It was a very low key serious movie. And fairly straight forward. But it was well made, and interesting to watch. I had read In Cold Blood a few years ago, so that really helped to have more of the backstory. But Anthony had never seen it before and he still enjoyed it.
Munich: I had heard a lot of great things about this movie, but hadn't quite been in the right mood to watch it. I am glad I did though. It was definitely worth it. It was sad, and wonderful at the same time, and nearly impossible to describe. Despite being a Spielberg movie, it didn't really feel like one. It was more simple, and much less showy than I would have expected.
All the King's Men: This was an interesting movie. I'm glad I saw it, and it was good. But I can't exactly say that I enjoyed it. I don't exactly know how to describe how I feel about it, other than it left me with a feeling of "huh...".
The Pursuit of Happyness: I really enjoyed this. Will Smith was incredible, and so was his son. It was well written, and well acted, and one of the few movies that I'd ever describe as being touching. And it was all done without being cheesy. Which is nothing short of miraculous. Movies that get promoted as being heartwarming and uplifting usually bore me to tears and end up being trite and overdone. I was incredibly surprised by how well the story was put together. It was a really worthwhile movie.
Children of Men: I really wanted to enjoy this movie, but I was disappointed. It wasn't bad. And I'm not sorry I saw it, but it seemed like there was so much more they could have done with it. I expected more to the story than what they showed. I wanted more back story about how the infertility began. And for them to take the story further at the end and explain why it suddenly ended. I think I was expecting a story more like 1984 or Brave New World. I expected it to be about government control and how it was overthrown. Maybe if I hadn't gone into it expecting that I would have been less disappointed.
Inside Man: This movie was better than I expected. I was expecting a basic action flick and it was much much more entertaining than that. It was also really funny, which I hadn't thought it would be at all. It was an Ocean's Eleven heist plot twist type movie. Definitely worth seeing, and something I'd actually want to watch again.
Capote: I'd been wanting to see this movie for a while too. It was a very low key serious movie. And fairly straight forward. But it was well made, and interesting to watch. I had read In Cold Blood a few years ago, so that really helped to have more of the backstory. But Anthony had never seen it before and he still enjoyed it.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Quiz
I don't usually fill out these quizzes, but I was bored...so here goes.
1. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to?
I haven't in a while, but I did for many years after, and I'm sure I will again.
2. Is it harder to be rejected or to reject someone?
To be honest, I'm almost always the one doing the rejecting.
3. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Well, two of my favorite songs were "Digging in the Dirt" by Peter Gabriel, and "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen.
4. What is the best thing about your current job?
Since my current job is looking for a job...probably that I have very flexible hours and get to play with the cats while I do it.
5. Do you wish cell phone etiquette was a required class?
Oh yes.
6. What's the last thing you drank?
Peach Chai Spice Iced Tea.
7. Have you been on a date in the past week?
If you count Anthony and I vacuuming out the car this afternoon...
8. Where are you going on your next vacation?
I don't really have anything planned, but I hope to go camping this summer.
9. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
Nope.
10. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
Old. They're all over 85.
11. Have you ever gotten so wasted you didn't know what was going on?
Yes, yes I have.
12. Do you like pulp-y orange juice?
Absolutely, the more pulp the better.
13. Are you touchy feely?
Yes. I like physical contact. Although I don't feel the need to touch strangers or casual acquaintances.
14. Did you cry at your high school graduation?
God no, I just wanted to be gone.
15. Do you prefer the tanning bed or the sun?
Neither. I am reflectively pale and I prefer it that way.
16. What are two of your favorite places to eat?
Ukai (a sushi/Japanese Steakhouse) and Mediterran (a small place with a random mix of middle European dishes)
17. What could you tolerate...someone who snores or a sleep walker?
Snoring bugs the hell out of me so I would much prefer a sleep walker.
18. Do you consider yourself bi-polar?
Nope, just occasionally cranky.
19. What's something your friends make fun of you for?
My nickname. Because apparently I was too dumb to realize that it could also be interpreted as Vampire's Ass.
20. What's your worst personality flaw?
The fact that I let minor setbacks really throw me off. And that sometimes that stops me from getting where I want to be in life.
22. Would you ever parachute off of a plane?
Absolutely, with the right training.
23. Have you ever ridden an elephant?
Nope, but I think it would be awesome.
24. Are you Irish in any way?
Not that I'm aware of.
25. Have you ever ridden in a U-Haul?
Can't say that I have.
26. Do you like to play Scrabble?
Yes. My grandma and I used to play all of the time.
27. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
Not one that was SUPPOSED to be nude. ;)
28. Have you ever drank Jack Daniels?
Yes, although I'm not a fan.
29. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
Yes.
30. What are you saving your money up for right now?
(sighs) what money?
31. What was the last giftcard you received?
Target, in my Easter basket. I love my aunt and cousins.
32. Who do you like right now?
Anyone who will give me a job.
33. Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your opinion of him or her?
Not particularly, although their reasons might.
34. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only straight person?
No, but I'm not straight...
35. What do you do when you spot a bug in your house?
Usually just ignore it. Or send it outside.
36. What is your favorite Disney movie?
As humiliating as this is, I have to say "Beauty and the Beast"
37. Where were you 1 hour ago?
On the couch drooling over Jonathan Rhys Meyer in "The Tudors".
38. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Either my parents or Anthony.
39.What was the last thing that really made you smile ?
Probably the most recent idiotic thing the cat was doing.
1. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to?
I haven't in a while, but I did for many years after, and I'm sure I will again.
2. Is it harder to be rejected or to reject someone?
To be honest, I'm almost always the one doing the rejecting.
3. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Well, two of my favorite songs were "Digging in the Dirt" by Peter Gabriel, and "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen.
4. What is the best thing about your current job?
Since my current job is looking for a job...probably that I have very flexible hours and get to play with the cats while I do it.
5. Do you wish cell phone etiquette was a required class?
Oh yes.
6. What's the last thing you drank?
Peach Chai Spice Iced Tea.
7. Have you been on a date in the past week?
If you count Anthony and I vacuuming out the car this afternoon...
8. Where are you going on your next vacation?
I don't really have anything planned, but I hope to go camping this summer.
9. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
Nope.
10. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
Old. They're all over 85.
11. Have you ever gotten so wasted you didn't know what was going on?
Yes, yes I have.
12. Do you like pulp-y orange juice?
Absolutely, the more pulp the better.
13. Are you touchy feely?
Yes. I like physical contact. Although I don't feel the need to touch strangers or casual acquaintances.
14. Did you cry at your high school graduation?
God no, I just wanted to be gone.
15. Do you prefer the tanning bed or the sun?
Neither. I am reflectively pale and I prefer it that way.
16. What are two of your favorite places to eat?
Ukai (a sushi/Japanese Steakhouse) and Mediterran (a small place with a random mix of middle European dishes)
17. What could you tolerate...someone who snores or a sleep walker?
Snoring bugs the hell out of me so I would much prefer a sleep walker.
18. Do you consider yourself bi-polar?
Nope, just occasionally cranky.
19. What's something your friends make fun of you for?
My nickname. Because apparently I was too dumb to realize that it could also be interpreted as Vampire's Ass.
20. What's your worst personality flaw?
The fact that I let minor setbacks really throw me off. And that sometimes that stops me from getting where I want to be in life.
22. Would you ever parachute off of a plane?
Absolutely, with the right training.
23. Have you ever ridden an elephant?
Nope, but I think it would be awesome.
24. Are you Irish in any way?
Not that I'm aware of.
25. Have you ever ridden in a U-Haul?
Can't say that I have.
26. Do you like to play Scrabble?
Yes. My grandma and I used to play all of the time.
27. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
Not one that was SUPPOSED to be nude. ;)
28. Have you ever drank Jack Daniels?
Yes, although I'm not a fan.
29. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
Yes.
30. What are you saving your money up for right now?
(sighs) what money?
31. What was the last giftcard you received?
Target, in my Easter basket. I love my aunt and cousins.
32. Who do you like right now?
Anyone who will give me a job.
33. Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your opinion of him or her?
Not particularly, although their reasons might.
34. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only straight person?
No, but I'm not straight...
35. What do you do when you spot a bug in your house?
Usually just ignore it. Or send it outside.
36. What is your favorite Disney movie?
As humiliating as this is, I have to say "Beauty and the Beast"
37. Where were you 1 hour ago?
On the couch drooling over Jonathan Rhys Meyer in "The Tudors".
38. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Either my parents or Anthony.
39.What was the last thing that really made you smile ?
Probably the most recent idiotic thing the cat was doing.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Menu Reviews
I haven't done any menu reviews lately, but I thought I would try it out again. I've been planning out menus for about two weeks so we don't have to shop every week. I've been trying to eat healthy as much as possible. I refuse to have baked chicken and brown rice every day for dinner though, so I am eating really healthy breakfasts and lunches and being a little more relaxed about dinner. I still aim for dinners to be under 500 calories, but most of them are more like 300-400. I don't feel deprived at all, and I get to enjoy lots of interesting dinners. As always, if you want a recipe, be sure to leave a comment and I'll get it to you.
Sesame Pork Strips - The pork strips were FANTASTIC. Small strips of pork with a crunchy sesame coating. Cook for a little less time in the future. I served it with honey mustard dipping sauce. It wasn't a quick recipe, but it wasn't terribly time consuming. Definitely make again. We had an impromptu dinner guest, Anthony's friend Trevor, and he really liked them also.
Malaysian Cucumber Salad – I decided not to go with that recipe because it needed time to marinate. I substituted vinegar and sour cream cucumbers. Simple, but it went really well with the pork.
Black Bean, Spinach and Mushroom Burritos – Lots of veggies with a little bit of Monterey Jack cheese and sour cream. Delicious and very healthy. I forgot the enchilada sauce, and I really enjoyed it without. Anthony had seconds and tried it with the sauce, he preferred it that way. But it can easily be made either way. Make again!
Creamy Pesto Fish – Very simple and delicious. Fish baked with a pesto sauce and grape tomatoes. Definitely make again. I don't remember if we served it with rice or quinoa or a salad.
Roast Chicken – I didn't really have a recipe for this I just took a chicken and stuffed it with fresh rosemary and onion. Very delicious.
Squash and Mixed Greens - Basic frozen squash with a little butter and salt and pepper. We had mixed greens with dressing. Both went very well with the roast chicken.
Beef and Broccoli – Delicious. Moderately time consuming, but worth doing. Served on top of brown rice.
Chicken and Wild Rice Soup – I had originally planned on making the soup with wild rice but realized I was out. I changed it to Chicken and Barley Soup. I used the leftover roasted chicken carcass and added frozen mixed vegetables and some fresh ones. Very healthy and delicious.
Bean and Bacon Soup (Computer) – Delicious but really unusual. I was out of canned tomato but it was good without. I will try it with tomato the next time I make it. It's a slightly sweet and spicy soup. I need to reduce the chili powder a small amount and increase amount of bacon though and it will be perfect.
Feta ChickenРAnthony invented this recipe and it was amazing. He saut̩ed chicken with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, garlic, Chinese 5 Spice Powder, cinnamon and basil. Once the chicken was cooked, he deglazed the pan with water. He cooked spaghetti with fresh rosemary. Drained the noodles and added feta and sliced black olives, tossed it, and served it with chicken on top. He sprinkled it with olives and feta and drizzled it with the remaining sauce.
Split Pea Soup with Ham - We had leftover ham and ham bones from Easter. I made a ham stock one day, and then the next day I added the split peas to the boiling ham stock. I let it cook for a few hours. I think next time I'll cook it a little more slowly, because it cooked down more than I'd like. I added carrots near the end, and then the ham. I had plenty to freeze.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Struggling
I won't go into every last detail about why this has been a horrible week for me. Suffice it to say a chronically sick cat, lack of a job and other factors conspired to cause a minor meltdown. Every so often I have a day where I feel like I can't go on. That every last small thing is adding up to create something more than I can handle. It doesn't happen very often, and I always get through it, but sometimes the day is just too much.
In a lot of ways I feel like everything we dealt with this summer used up the reserves I have. The extra strength to push myself through it and say "I can deal with this." Three months of having to do that EVERY SINGLE DAY wore me out. I'm tired. Deep down in my soul tired. Tired of having to spend every day struggling to make it to the next. Tired of feeling like it was never going to get better. And resentful. Resentful that I was forced to deal with it. It wasn't fair. And that makes me angry. I can handle it when I was the one who screwed up. If I can take responsibility for something, I can move on. If I caused it, I can fix it. But when it feels like the universe is out to get me, there's nothing I can do. I struggle and struggle and get nowhere. I hate feeling useless and ineffectual. Feeling like that for months wears you down
This week was a very similar feeling. Mercury is sick, and there is nothing we can do. The vet has no idea what's wrong, we've tried everything we can, and it isn't working. I've cried so many times looking at her and wishing so desperately that she could just talk. That she could tell me what was wrong so I could fix it. I would do almost anything to get her well, but I don't know how. I'm struggling and struggling to find a job and getting nowhere. My parents have been helping me out but they can't do that forever. I understand that, but at the same time it's very frustrating. I don't want to have to rely on Anthony. I don't want to put that strain on our relationship. I want to be able to take care of myself damn it. But there are no jobs. And I don't know what to do.
I'll keep struggling on, and today it's easier than it was a few days ago. But sometimes I wonder, how long can I keep doing this? How long can I go before I just can't do it anymore? Will there be a point where I just give up?
In a lot of ways I feel like everything we dealt with this summer used up the reserves I have. The extra strength to push myself through it and say "I can deal with this." Three months of having to do that EVERY SINGLE DAY wore me out. I'm tired. Deep down in my soul tired. Tired of having to spend every day struggling to make it to the next. Tired of feeling like it was never going to get better. And resentful. Resentful that I was forced to deal with it. It wasn't fair. And that makes me angry. I can handle it when I was the one who screwed up. If I can take responsibility for something, I can move on. If I caused it, I can fix it. But when it feels like the universe is out to get me, there's nothing I can do. I struggle and struggle and get nowhere. I hate feeling useless and ineffectual. Feeling like that for months wears you down
This week was a very similar feeling. Mercury is sick, and there is nothing we can do. The vet has no idea what's wrong, we've tried everything we can, and it isn't working. I've cried so many times looking at her and wishing so desperately that she could just talk. That she could tell me what was wrong so I could fix it. I would do almost anything to get her well, but I don't know how. I'm struggling and struggling to find a job and getting nowhere. My parents have been helping me out but they can't do that forever. I understand that, but at the same time it's very frustrating. I don't want to have to rely on Anthony. I don't want to put that strain on our relationship. I want to be able to take care of myself damn it. But there are no jobs. And I don't know what to do.
I'll keep struggling on, and today it's easier than it was a few days ago. But sometimes I wonder, how long can I keep doing this? How long can I go before I just can't do it anymore? Will there be a point where I just give up?
Thursday, March 29, 2007
March
As per usual, things have been a bit crazy around here. Captain Jack was sick for a while, so I had to make a few trips to the vet for him. And then Mercury decided she needed to do the same. So I made 3 trips to the vet with her. They both seem to be doing better, but it took a lot of time, energy and of course money to get them both back to normal.
We got more work done a few weekends ago. Anthony ran ground wires for all of the outlets in the living room. We had replaced the two prong outlets to three prong, but there was no ground to them. It was a big concern to get that room done as soon as possible since we have 3 lamps, what I like to refer to as the entertainment system of doom (big tv, dvd player, etc...), and a 55 gallon aquarium. I washed windows and cleaned and such while he did that. We also swept the basement out, we re-did some of the plumbing for the sump pump. Whoever put it in did a very bad job. The pipe to take the water out of the basement ended 3 feet from the foundation and pooled in a low spot on the lawn. The water basically rand right back into the basement almost as fast as the sump pump was trying to get it back out. We cut off the pipe and replaced it so it bends immediately as soon as it is outside of the foundation, and then runs parallel to the house for 20 feet and empties at the front of the porch. The porch doesn't have a full foundation, so it's now 10 feet from where the basement wall is, and comes out at the top of a small incline so it can run downhill AWAY from the house. The sump pump is already running much less often and the ground where it came out originally is drying out. The pipe is a little ugly right now, but in better weather we'll paint it to match the foundation, and landscape around it.
We also got started on the Master Bedroom renovations. They are going really well, but slowly. Between the sick critters, Anthony getting sick this week, and about a billion other things coming up, we're not as far along as we'd like. But, I'm so unbelievably happy to have started it. The drywall is all up, which was an interesting process. I'd never done it before, and Anthony had never done ceilings, so we were learning as we went. But the room already looks so much better. Which is pretty pathetic actually, that sheets of drywall and a bunch of screws looks good. But anything is better than the murder room. (So named because of the crummy bright red paint job that looks like someone was slaughtered and then their blood was used to paint the walls). We wouldn't have been surprised to find a body stashed in the closet.
Anthony starting the mudding. It's something I want to learn how to do. Although I think he'll probably do most of it, and I'll do most of the painting. We're also probably going to re-finish the bedroom floors. They're pretty scuffed up. But they're a decent oak, so they're worth putting a little time and money into. I have a new duvet cover, and we picked paint to match. And I am getting really antsy to be able to actually start the decorating process.
We got more work done a few weekends ago. Anthony ran ground wires for all of the outlets in the living room. We had replaced the two prong outlets to three prong, but there was no ground to them. It was a big concern to get that room done as soon as possible since we have 3 lamps, what I like to refer to as the entertainment system of doom (big tv, dvd player, etc...), and a 55 gallon aquarium. I washed windows and cleaned and such while he did that. We also swept the basement out, we re-did some of the plumbing for the sump pump. Whoever put it in did a very bad job. The pipe to take the water out of the basement ended 3 feet from the foundation and pooled in a low spot on the lawn. The water basically rand right back into the basement almost as fast as the sump pump was trying to get it back out. We cut off the pipe and replaced it so it bends immediately as soon as it is outside of the foundation, and then runs parallel to the house for 20 feet and empties at the front of the porch. The porch doesn't have a full foundation, so it's now 10 feet from where the basement wall is, and comes out at the top of a small incline so it can run downhill AWAY from the house. The sump pump is already running much less often and the ground where it came out originally is drying out. The pipe is a little ugly right now, but in better weather we'll paint it to match the foundation, and landscape around it.
We also got started on the Master Bedroom renovations. They are going really well, but slowly. Between the sick critters, Anthony getting sick this week, and about a billion other things coming up, we're not as far along as we'd like. But, I'm so unbelievably happy to have started it. The drywall is all up, which was an interesting process. I'd never done it before, and Anthony had never done ceilings, so we were learning as we went. But the room already looks so much better. Which is pretty pathetic actually, that sheets of drywall and a bunch of screws looks good. But anything is better than the murder room. (So named because of the crummy bright red paint job that looks like someone was slaughtered and then their blood was used to paint the walls). We wouldn't have been surprised to find a body stashed in the closet.
Anthony starting the mudding. It's something I want to learn how to do. Although I think he'll probably do most of it, and I'll do most of the painting. We're also probably going to re-finish the bedroom floors. They're pretty scuffed up. But they're a decent oak, so they're worth putting a little time and money into. I have a new duvet cover, and we picked paint to match. And I am getting really antsy to be able to actually start the decorating process.
Edesigns
For those of you who know me in real life, you probably know that Erin is in the process of starting her own business, EdesignsFashion. But for those of you who've never actually met me, I'll bring you up to speed. She's a fabulous clothing designer and I'm really excited that she's putting together a website with the clothes she's selling. She doing Edesigns, a collection of women's ready to wear clothes, babE, clothing for little ones, and Edesigns Bridal, which is custom made bridal gowns. She's made several wedding dresses, including her own! And she just got a commission for another.
She's always been fabulously creative and her clothing and accessories are awesome and they're all incredibly good prices, so be sure to check her site out!
Here's one of her creations, her Bodice Ripper Button Down. She's still photographing her designs and putting them onto the website, so there's a lot more to come.
She's always been fabulously creative and her clothing and accessories are awesome and they're all incredibly good prices, so be sure to check her site out!
Here's one of her creations, her Bodice Ripper Button Down. She's still photographing her designs and putting them onto the website, so there's a lot more to come.
Late February
In between moving into the house and unpacking boxes we've done a few more things. We're replacing switchplates, outlets, and outlet covers as we go. We also added a turn knob to the dining room light fixture, since all it had was the turn post before. We replaced the old mail slot, because it was letting in HUGE drafts of air, and added door sweeps (the metal and rubber pieces that keep drafts out) to all of the exterior doors. It has also helped a ton in getting rid of the last few drafts the house had. I am amazed but with those few small changes (and hunting down the last couple of windows that didn't have the storm windows tightly fitted into the track) we have a toasty warm house. It's amazing how much the storm windows do. Most of the windows appear to be the ORIGINAL wavy glass, but with the storm windows in place there are no drafts! It's only cold if you put your hand right on the glass.
We also put in the curved shower curtain rod (so worth the 40 dollars we got it for). We also convinced one of Anthony's old co-workers to sell us a rainfall shower head (one of the large diameter type) for 10 dollars! Major score there. So we have a nice comfy shower, even if the rest of the bathroom looks like electric blue butt.
The weather was decent enough to work outside for an hour or so. We removed the awnings on the house and it looks SO much better. They were hideously ugly. And while I understand that they were probably put up to block the tons of light that comes in the south and west windows...I would much rather use curtains to soften/block the light. They're more attractive and much more adjustable. The only good thing about the awnings is that they're aluminum, so we can take them to a scrap metal place and get money for them! Woot!
We also ripped down the wild grape vines that are attacking the side of the garage. They're doing some damage to it, so we wanted to get them down as soon as possible. We left them on the fence, they'll be very pretty there, without doing damage. We also took down the weird ugly metal medicine cabinet box in the bathroom. The wall looks crummy underneath, but it's still an improvement. I also got the rest of the kitchen cabinets cleaned out and some more kitchen things unpacked. We're not unpacking everything until the kitchen is done. But we realized that we'd never be doing anything but dishes unless we had more than 4 plates and 4 forks and 4 spoons. We also took down the hideously ugly cover for the doorbell chimes. It looked like something straight out of 1974, and we aren't crazy about any of them out there, so we took off the cheesy metal "decorative" scroll on it, and spray painted the yellowed plastic. It's black now, and while it doesn't look great, it's tolerable. My dad is going to make a nice 4 sided wooden cube to hang on the wall to cover it eventually. But in the meantime, it's gone from hideous to unnoticeable.
We also put in the curved shower curtain rod (so worth the 40 dollars we got it for). We also convinced one of Anthony's old co-workers to sell us a rainfall shower head (one of the large diameter type) for 10 dollars! Major score there. So we have a nice comfy shower, even if the rest of the bathroom looks like electric blue butt.
The weather was decent enough to work outside for an hour or so. We removed the awnings on the house and it looks SO much better. They were hideously ugly. And while I understand that they were probably put up to block the tons of light that comes in the south and west windows...I would much rather use curtains to soften/block the light. They're more attractive and much more adjustable. The only good thing about the awnings is that they're aluminum, so we can take them to a scrap metal place and get money for them! Woot!
We also ripped down the wild grape vines that are attacking the side of the garage. They're doing some damage to it, so we wanted to get them down as soon as possible. We left them on the fence, they'll be very pretty there, without doing damage. We also took down the weird ugly metal medicine cabinet box in the bathroom. The wall looks crummy underneath, but it's still an improvement. I also got the rest of the kitchen cabinets cleaned out and some more kitchen things unpacked. We're not unpacking everything until the kitchen is done. But we realized that we'd never be doing anything but dishes unless we had more than 4 plates and 4 forks and 4 spoons. We also took down the hideously ugly cover for the doorbell chimes. It looked like something straight out of 1974, and we aren't crazy about any of them out there, so we took off the cheesy metal "decorative" scroll on it, and spray painted the yellowed plastic. It's black now, and while it doesn't look great, it's tolerable. My dad is going to make a nice 4 sided wooden cube to hang on the wall to cover it eventually. But in the meantime, it's gone from hideous to unnoticeable.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Cleaning House
Basically the minute we had keys to the house, we started working on it.
We did a ton of cleaning. Sweeping the floors, dusting, and scrubbing the kitchen and bathroom. The fridge was pretty gross, there was mold in the freezer and spills in the fridge. But we sprayed it all down with some pretty heavy duty cleaner, and it looks like a brand new fridge. It is in perfect condition, and is a nice model. We also scrubbed down the stove. It's a gas stove and I am so happy to have it. It also looks about a million times better after a good scrubbing. I used oven cleaner for the first time, and I was really amazed at how well it worked. I never felt the motivation to scrub out an oven in a rental house/apartment, but it's amazing how much more motivated I am now that it's all OURS. The dishwasher looks almost brand new, and didn't really need much done to it except for a quick cycle run through it and the outside wiped down. The vented microwave is 14 years old however. It does work. But it's very small and sort of ugly. If we find a fabulously good deal on one, we may replace it, but in the meantime it works well and we got it cleaned up nicely.
The garbage disposal wasn't working, but Anthony took it apart and it works fabulously now. We hadn't planned on replacing the kitchen sink faucet yet, but it was dripping and leaking, so we went to Menards (where Anthony used to work) and talked someone into selling us an almost 300 dollar Delta faucet that is no longer in stock for 50 dollars. It's really really nice. He also had to replace the pipe to the dishwasher since the people who installed it before did a terrible job and did it all wrong. Something made him curious about how it was installed so he took it out, and discovered what could have led to a serious serious leak if we had bumped into it hard. But it's all fixed now and installed properly, so we shouldn't have to worry about it in the future. We also got and installed a dining room fixture (there is no lighting at ALL in the living room and dining room, so we decided to get one earlier than originally planned). We also got and installed a digital thermometer. Oh, and we got a remote for the garage door opener. Which came in handy this weekend since it was so cold.
One of the first things we did was to rip down the shower doors, which were disgusting and ugly.
We also got a price for a new shower surround (around 50 dollars for a nice quality but basic model), and decided that we will replace it instead of attempting to scrape out all of the nasty old caulk. The tub is in MUCH better condition than I thought it would be. We poured a bottle and a half of CLR in it, and it worked wonders. The bathtub had a nasty black film on it, and it looked like it had been scraped and the enamel was worn away. But we were wrong. No major scratches, and it's gleaming white. The toilet was also very very stained with mineral buildup, but we used more CLR and it's perfect looking too. We also replaced the toilet seat because it was disgusting. And for 5 dollars, a brand new toilet seat is COMPLETLEY worth it. We're going to get a curved shower curtain rod to give us more space, and we already have an extra long shower curtain, so I think we'll hang it higher than normal, since Anthony is rather tall.
We did a ton of cleaning. Sweeping the floors, dusting, and scrubbing the kitchen and bathroom. The fridge was pretty gross, there was mold in the freezer and spills in the fridge. But we sprayed it all down with some pretty heavy duty cleaner, and it looks like a brand new fridge. It is in perfect condition, and is a nice model. We also scrubbed down the stove. It's a gas stove and I am so happy to have it. It also looks about a million times better after a good scrubbing. I used oven cleaner for the first time, and I was really amazed at how well it worked. I never felt the motivation to scrub out an oven in a rental house/apartment, but it's amazing how much more motivated I am now that it's all OURS. The dishwasher looks almost brand new, and didn't really need much done to it except for a quick cycle run through it and the outside wiped down. The vented microwave is 14 years old however. It does work. But it's very small and sort of ugly. If we find a fabulously good deal on one, we may replace it, but in the meantime it works well and we got it cleaned up nicely.
The garbage disposal wasn't working, but Anthony took it apart and it works fabulously now. We hadn't planned on replacing the kitchen sink faucet yet, but it was dripping and leaking, so we went to Menards (where Anthony used to work) and talked someone into selling us an almost 300 dollar Delta faucet that is no longer in stock for 50 dollars. It's really really nice. He also had to replace the pipe to the dishwasher since the people who installed it before did a terrible job and did it all wrong. Something made him curious about how it was installed so he took it out, and discovered what could have led to a serious serious leak if we had bumped into it hard. But it's all fixed now and installed properly, so we shouldn't have to worry about it in the future. We also got and installed a dining room fixture (there is no lighting at ALL in the living room and dining room, so we decided to get one earlier than originally planned). We also got and installed a digital thermometer. Oh, and we got a remote for the garage door opener. Which came in handy this weekend since it was so cold.
One of the first things we did was to rip down the shower doors, which were disgusting and ugly.
We also got a price for a new shower surround (around 50 dollars for a nice quality but basic model), and decided that we will replace it instead of attempting to scrape out all of the nasty old caulk. The tub is in MUCH better condition than I thought it would be. We poured a bottle and a half of CLR in it, and it worked wonders. The bathtub had a nasty black film on it, and it looked like it had been scraped and the enamel was worn away. But we were wrong. No major scratches, and it's gleaming white. The toilet was also very very stained with mineral buildup, but we used more CLR and it's perfect looking too. We also replaced the toilet seat because it was disgusting. And for 5 dollars, a brand new toilet seat is COMPLETLEY worth it. We're going to get a curved shower curtain rod to give us more space, and we already have an extra long shower curtain, so I think we'll hang it higher than normal, since Anthony is rather tall.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
The House
Since I told you about the process of finding a house, I figured I should probably show you what the actual house looks like. There's already a narrative on my Flickr page as you go through the pictures, so I'll leave it at that. But in short, it's a beautiful old house built in 1922, that people were dumb enough to put up horrible horrible wallpaper in, and paint atrocious colors, but were smart enough to leave the trim unpainted and the floors in good shape. Well, the floors upstairs could use some work, but overall, it's very very nice. It's also in serious need of some updating. The horrible horrible wallpaper needs to come down, and the atrocious paint colors are going to get fixed. We'll be updating outlets and light fixtures, and generally making the house as lovely as we possibly can. The budget is somewhat limited of course, but between Anthony and my skills with tools, Anthony's mad negotiating talents, our ability to bargain shop, and our very good taste, I think we should be able to do quite a lot. We're planning on keeping with the general feel of a house from the 1920's, although of course with updated technology and such.
It won't get done all at once of course, but the idea is to get as much done as we possibly can in the next few months, and have an open house at the end of spring/beginning of summer.
It won't get done all at once of course, but the idea is to get as much done as we possibly can in the next few months, and have an open house at the end of spring/beginning of summer.
House Hunting
Due in part to the horrible horrible roommate, we decided to look for a house. We thought about getting an apartment, or renting a house, but we would have ended up spending just as much money renting, if not more, than we could spend buying a house. And when I say we, I mean Anthony. In the interest of not complicating our relationship any more than is humanly possible, we decided to keep everything in his name. He has the mortgage on the house, I pay rent. We split utilities. If one of us dies or we break up, there won't be a huge legal issue. Obviously I'd have to find a new place to live, but that's nothing compared to trying to sort out the legal mess of joint ownership on a house when we're not married. When we do get married, it will be a different story, but until then, simple is best.
I have to take a moment to get all mushy and romantic about it, though. When we were talking about it with my parents, Anthony said "It's my house, but it's our home." Take a moment to say "awww" or gag, whichever suits you. The plan is definitely to get married within a few years though, so everything is being done with the idea that it is our place. So I get to put in lots and lots of input on it.
We spent the very end of November and the beginning of December driving around shopping for a house. We had a pretty specific idea of what we wanted. Two stories, requiring some fixing up, and old with lots and lots of character. Also, a full basement, an actual garage, and wood floors. We found a long list of possibilities just by driving around, and then perused the internet. A friend of ours had a real estate agent he was very happy with, so we went with her. She was helpful, although we did a good portion of the real work ourselves. We actually found the house we decided on, but she did help by setting up the appointments to see it, and dealing with the paperwork.
The home buying process made me realize just how old we really are. There was a night, when we were sitting in the living room on our laptops and Anthony was making up a budget for the house and I was researching Capital Gains Taxes and we were both very happy. Yeah. Like I said...old.
We toured about 6 or 8 houses with the real estate agent, before we found the listing for one we thought was a possibility. We went out again with her, and it was the first house we went to that evening. We were both really impressed, and felt very comfortable in it, but figured we should give the rest of the houses on the list a chance. So we toured more. And went out another day right before Christmas to tour a few more, and see this one again. We definitely decided this house was our favorite, and Anthony put in an offer in on it the week after Christmas. Thanks to the buyer friendly market, the fact that the house is a foreclosure and Anthony's excellent credit score, he had no problem getting the house for less than what they were asking. Closing was at the end of January and by the first week of February, we moved in!
I have to take a moment to get all mushy and romantic about it, though. When we were talking about it with my parents, Anthony said "It's my house, but it's our home." Take a moment to say "awww" or gag, whichever suits you. The plan is definitely to get married within a few years though, so everything is being done with the idea that it is our place. So I get to put in lots and lots of input on it.
We spent the very end of November and the beginning of December driving around shopping for a house. We had a pretty specific idea of what we wanted. Two stories, requiring some fixing up, and old with lots and lots of character. Also, a full basement, an actual garage, and wood floors. We found a long list of possibilities just by driving around, and then perused the internet. A friend of ours had a real estate agent he was very happy with, so we went with her. She was helpful, although we did a good portion of the real work ourselves. We actually found the house we decided on, but she did help by setting up the appointments to see it, and dealing with the paperwork.
The home buying process made me realize just how old we really are. There was a night, when we were sitting in the living room on our laptops and Anthony was making up a budget for the house and I was researching Capital Gains Taxes and we were both very happy. Yeah. Like I said...old.
We toured about 6 or 8 houses with the real estate agent, before we found the listing for one we thought was a possibility. We went out again with her, and it was the first house we went to that evening. We were both really impressed, and felt very comfortable in it, but figured we should give the rest of the houses on the list a chance. So we toured more. And went out another day right before Christmas to tour a few more, and see this one again. We definitely decided this house was our favorite, and Anthony put in an offer in on it the week after Christmas. Thanks to the buyer friendly market, the fact that the house is a foreclosure and Anthony's excellent credit score, he had no problem getting the house for less than what they were asking. Closing was at the end of January and by the first week of February, we moved in!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Fall
The fall mostly consisted of trying to settle into the new place, get ready for Erin's wedding, and dealing with a roommate.
I was Erin's maid of honor, so I planned her bachelorette party. We met at Erin's mom's house, and made Mardi Gras type masks. Lots of feathers and rhinestones and general wackiness. They turned out really cute and we had a lot of fun making them. Plus, it was something a little more us than penis veils. After the masks were done, we went out to dinner, and then to Windsor to go out drinking and clubbing, and crashed in a hotel there after. It was fun, although I think it made all of us feel like we're getting a bit old.
Erin and Kyle's wedding was wonderful. I finished the dress I was making for it, and it was very cute. Plus, it's something I'll want to wear again. Her dress was gorgeous and everything turned out beautifully. She got all of the bride minions incredible shawls, a different color for each of us. Mine was red with a gold scroll pattern, and it was perfect. She also got me a really pretty antique looking silver compact with a mirror on one side, and a picture of the two of us on the other. It was incredibly sweet. I had a horrible time writing the speech for the reception, although it finally came together really well. In order to keep from crying during it, I ended up shaking through the whole thing, but apparently I appeared more composed that I was.
We liked our new rooms and loved the furniture we bought to replace what was lost in the fire. However, the roommate situation has been a nightmare. I think we have both come very close to murdering him on a daily basis. I'll try to keep this from turning into a rant, but suffice it to say he's a thoughtless, drug dealing jackass. Oh, and he's incapable of turning off his freaking alarm clock, or waking up to it. So if he's gone and leaves it on, we have to go in his room to turn off his THREE alarms. And if he's here, we have to pound on the door/go in and shake him to get him to wake up. Yeah, not an ideal situation.
The rest of the fall has been taking some time to relax and enjoy each other. And finally being able to hang out with friends again. There were a lot of people we didn't get to see over the summer. And so we've been doing a bit more of that. Which has been very enjoyable. Anthony has been gone about 5-7 days or so out of every month. I miss him while he's gone, but it's great money, and it isn't all bad having time to myself every so often.
I was Erin's maid of honor, so I planned her bachelorette party. We met at Erin's mom's house, and made Mardi Gras type masks. Lots of feathers and rhinestones and general wackiness. They turned out really cute and we had a lot of fun making them. Plus, it was something a little more us than penis veils. After the masks were done, we went out to dinner, and then to Windsor to go out drinking and clubbing, and crashed in a hotel there after. It was fun, although I think it made all of us feel like we're getting a bit old.
Erin and Kyle's wedding was wonderful. I finished the dress I was making for it, and it was very cute. Plus, it's something I'll want to wear again. Her dress was gorgeous and everything turned out beautifully. She got all of the bride minions incredible shawls, a different color for each of us. Mine was red with a gold scroll pattern, and it was perfect. She also got me a really pretty antique looking silver compact with a mirror on one side, and a picture of the two of us on the other. It was incredibly sweet. I had a horrible time writing the speech for the reception, although it finally came together really well. In order to keep from crying during it, I ended up shaking through the whole thing, but apparently I appeared more composed that I was.
We liked our new rooms and loved the furniture we bought to replace what was lost in the fire. However, the roommate situation has been a nightmare. I think we have both come very close to murdering him on a daily basis. I'll try to keep this from turning into a rant, but suffice it to say he's a thoughtless, drug dealing jackass. Oh, and he's incapable of turning off his freaking alarm clock, or waking up to it. So if he's gone and leaves it on, we have to go in his room to turn off his THREE alarms. And if he's here, we have to pound on the door/go in and shake him to get him to wake up. Yeah, not an ideal situation.
The rest of the fall has been taking some time to relax and enjoy each other. And finally being able to hang out with friends again. There were a lot of people we didn't get to see over the summer. And so we've been doing a bit more of that. Which has been very enjoyable. Anthony has been gone about 5-7 days or so out of every month. I miss him while he's gone, but it's great money, and it isn't all bad having time to myself every so often.
Early Fall
One incredibly wonderful thing that happened was that Anthony got a new job. He'd been trying to find one in his field for a year and a half, so it was about time. One of my fabulous former neighbors, Kracker, called Anthony up one day and said "hey, are you still looking for a job?" And he went in for an interview, and a few weeks later had a great job. He works for a company that designs and manages software for casinos. It's a completely random job, but they pay well and he's really been enjoying working there. The sort of threw him into the job and turned him loose. A week after he started work, they sent him out on a trip.
And that was the week we moved. The lease on the temporary apartment was up in mid August so we found a new place. We knew it wouldn't be a place we'd stay forever, but we hoped it would work for a while. It's an old house that we're sharing with someone Anthony worked with at his old job. We have two rooms, and the dining room and kitchen to ourselves. The two rooms were painted hideous colors, and I really wish I had taken pictures of them before we got rid of them. The room we're using for a bedroom had peach walls, sky blue trim and doors, an unpainted plaster ceiling and there was blue carpet on the floor. We ripped up the carpet to find nice dark stained wood floors, painted the walls a coffee with milk color, and the doors, trim and ceiling white. It is 100 percent better now. The room we're using for an office was a sickly purple-grey color, with hunter green trim and doors, and blue carpet. We ripped up the carpet to find the dark wood floors again, and painted the walls a dark grey with white trim, doors and ceiling.
We moved everything in, and Anthony left for his work trip the next morning. I was left with a new roommate and a living room full of boxes. I got about a third to half of the way through them by the time he got home. I came close to wanting to kill him during the process though.
And that was the week we moved. The lease on the temporary apartment was up in mid August so we found a new place. We knew it wouldn't be a place we'd stay forever, but we hoped it would work for a while. It's an old house that we're sharing with someone Anthony worked with at his old job. We have two rooms, and the dining room and kitchen to ourselves. The two rooms were painted hideous colors, and I really wish I had taken pictures of them before we got rid of them. The room we're using for a bedroom had peach walls, sky blue trim and doors, an unpainted plaster ceiling and there was blue carpet on the floor. We ripped up the carpet to find nice dark stained wood floors, painted the walls a coffee with milk color, and the doors, trim and ceiling white. It is 100 percent better now. The room we're using for an office was a sickly purple-grey color, with hunter green trim and doors, and blue carpet. We ripped up the carpet to find the dark wood floors again, and painted the walls a dark grey with white trim, doors and ceiling.
We moved everything in, and Anthony left for his work trip the next morning. I was left with a new roommate and a living room full of boxes. I got about a third to half of the way through them by the time he got home. I came close to wanting to kill him during the process though.
Monday, January 29, 2007
June, July and Early August
After the chaos of the fire and attempting to deal with all of the insurance bullshit things did NOT settle down like we'd hoped. Shortly after the fire, we found a temporary apartment to live in, and got new aquariums. For your information, it is possible to fit a 55 gallon aquarium tank, stand and hood, and 29 gallon tank and stand in a Civic at the same time. It was sort of like playing Jenga in a car, but we made it work. The fish got set up and we more or less got settled into the apartment. Temporary rental furniture wasn't exactly wonderful, but it worked.
One good thing that happened was Erin's bridal shower. We had a great time and it was a nice break from everything else. After that, Katie and I disassembled our apartment and started packing. Our lease was up at the end of July, so we had a ton to do. In the midst of the packing and move to Anthony's temporary place, his motorcycle was stolen. Right out from in front of his apartment complex. In order to save a bit of money and because he wasn't really riding it often, he only had PLPD insurance on it, not full coverage. So of course the insurance wouldn't replace it. (sighs)
I also was incredibly frustrated when in the last few days before my lease was up, I got an infection in a cut I didn't realize I had. It made painting the apartment back to white and lifting heavy boxes a really big pain. By friday it had gotten so bad that I decided I should see a doctor on monday. But saturday night I was in excruciating pain to the point of tears, and went to the ER. I had to wait forever of course, thanks to an onslaught of people coming in with heat stroke/dehydration. But I finally got seen, given Morphine, and I napped on and off for a few hours while I waited for a surgeon.
I've decided I am completely unimpressed by Morphine. The drug, not the band. I am in love with the band. The drug made my shoulders tense and I felt like a slug. I had no ambition to move or do anything. It did take the edge off of the pain though, so that was a huge help. I got seen by the surgeon, they cleaned up the infected area and sent me off with a prescription for antibiotics. I spent the next few days recovering, and was starting to feel great, when I woke up one morning covered head to toe with a rash. I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics, but luckily it wasn't a serious reaction, just annoying. I now know I shouldn't take amoxicillin.
The rash cleared up in a week, and things were starting to look up. We were trying to figure out a place to move once our 3 month lease was up. My parents went on vacation for a few weeks and I had my mom's car while they were gone. I went home a few times to check on the plants, get the mail and make sure the horses were ok. On the way home one evening, I stopped to find a birthday gift for Erin. I turned left at a light, and got hit by a car. A woman ran a red light and slammed into the rear passenger door of the car. I was alright except for a burn on my arm from the air bag, and some really sore shoulders. The car was totaled though. Anthony came and picked me up, and the car was towed away. I came home, and got in a hot bath with tea and chocolate and stayed there for a few hours. I wasn't at fault, and there was a witness to prove it, but I felt horrible that I totaled my mom's car.
It was officially the summer from hell.
One good thing that happened was Erin's bridal shower. We had a great time and it was a nice break from everything else. After that, Katie and I disassembled our apartment and started packing. Our lease was up at the end of July, so we had a ton to do. In the midst of the packing and move to Anthony's temporary place, his motorcycle was stolen. Right out from in front of his apartment complex. In order to save a bit of money and because he wasn't really riding it often, he only had PLPD insurance on it, not full coverage. So of course the insurance wouldn't replace it. (sighs)
I also was incredibly frustrated when in the last few days before my lease was up, I got an infection in a cut I didn't realize I had. It made painting the apartment back to white and lifting heavy boxes a really big pain. By friday it had gotten so bad that I decided I should see a doctor on monday. But saturday night I was in excruciating pain to the point of tears, and went to the ER. I had to wait forever of course, thanks to an onslaught of people coming in with heat stroke/dehydration. But I finally got seen, given Morphine, and I napped on and off for a few hours while I waited for a surgeon.
I've decided I am completely unimpressed by Morphine. The drug, not the band. I am in love with the band. The drug made my shoulders tense and I felt like a slug. I had no ambition to move or do anything. It did take the edge off of the pain though, so that was a huge help. I got seen by the surgeon, they cleaned up the infected area and sent me off with a prescription for antibiotics. I spent the next few days recovering, and was starting to feel great, when I woke up one morning covered head to toe with a rash. I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics, but luckily it wasn't a serious reaction, just annoying. I now know I shouldn't take amoxicillin.
The rash cleared up in a week, and things were starting to look up. We were trying to figure out a place to move once our 3 month lease was up. My parents went on vacation for a few weeks and I had my mom's car while they were gone. I went home a few times to check on the plants, get the mail and make sure the horses were ok. On the way home one evening, I stopped to find a birthday gift for Erin. I turned left at a light, and got hit by a car. A woman ran a red light and slammed into the rear passenger door of the car. I was alright except for a burn on my arm from the air bag, and some really sore shoulders. The car was totaled though. Anthony came and picked me up, and the car was towed away. I came home, and got in a hot bath with tea and chocolate and stayed there for a few hours. I wasn't at fault, and there was a witness to prove it, but I felt horrible that I totaled my mom's car.
It was officially the summer from hell.
Seven Months
Yep, it's been over seven months since I've done anything with this. In my defense, I have a perfectly valid excuse. Or many of them. I'll catch up on everything in a series of posts to keep it simple.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Hell
We spent a hellish few days pricing the items Anthony owned. After the day of sorting, we each spent another 6 hours or so typing up the items into an excel spreadsheet. Every single item, down to the nuts and bolts and extention cords. In order for Anthony to get the 40,000 dollars the insurance company owes him we had to make this list and price every single one of those items. We went to at least a dozen stores and spent three full days writing down prices, and at least two of those days were 10 hours each day. At the end of each day we collapsed into bed and slept really deeply, but I don't think either of us got more than 6 hours of sleep a night for at least a week and a half after the fire. Anthony missed an entire week of work, but the insurance should pay him for his time out of his displacement costs.
The grand total of the pricing of every item came to 68,000 dollars. Obviously, substantially more than his 40,000 dollar insurance policy. Granted, some of that doesn't include the items that we salvaged, but he may also have to sue the landlord for the difference that still remains. That probably won't happen until he gets done with dealing with the insurance. Aside from the several thousands of dollars they've given him to replace the basics and live on temporarily, it'll take at least another 2 weeks to a month to get the final check from them. It's going to be one hell of a summer for us.
The grand total of the pricing of every item came to 68,000 dollars. Obviously, substantially more than his 40,000 dollar insurance policy. Granted, some of that doesn't include the items that we salvaged, but he may also have to sue the landlord for the difference that still remains. That probably won't happen until he gets done with dealing with the insurance. Aside from the several thousands of dollars they've given him to replace the basics and live on temporarily, it'll take at least another 2 weeks to a month to get the final check from them. It's going to be one hell of a summer for us.
Sorting
One of the most stressful days was when we sorted through the entire apartment. It took six hours for a crew of about 8 or 10 people to get through everything. Anthony and I each took a room and half of the crew. We had notepads and pens and wrote down every single item. There was a gigantic dumpster parked under the living room window and everything being tossed went out that way. A few things got packed up in boxes. Most of the dishes and glasses and silverware were salvageable. I had a bit of a fight at first to get them to carefully pack the cookware set. We have a very nice stainless steel Cuisinart set, and two Calphalon One pans with lids. They are way too expensive to be treated like shit. They were going to just put them in a box loose, without any wrapping. I had to strenuously object and tell them that they HAD to put paper between each item, and wrap it carefully. I had a similar fight when it came to the Beaujolais glasses. The appliances sitting out had to get trashed, gallons of water tend to create problems for electronics. The immersion blender, and panini maker actually survived, since they weren't drenched with water. I was in charge of sorting through the kitchen and bathroom. Nothing from the bathroom survived, except for the very nice shower curtain hooks. Anthony had the living room, which was completely trashed, and the bedroom, which had a few salvageable items. Amazingly enough the desktop computer he built himself survived and so did the monitor and the LCD tv and dvd recorder. There was one piece of luck in our favor, because we got them all when they were on sale for ridiculously great prices, and would be very hard to come across again.
It's incredibly depressing to see all of the things you hand picked so carefully be tossed away. We spent so much time making that apartment ours, even though I hadn't moved in yet. We shopped carefully for great deals and things we really loved. I'll admit there were a few things I wanted to replace, but not this way.
A few days after the sorting, the cleaning company and insurance tried to pull some bullshit about charging for the cleaning out of the apartment. Despite the fact that Anthony hadn't been told that he would have to pay, he was given the impression that it was a service the insurance offered. He knew he would have to pay for the salvageable items that the company cleaned, but never that he would have to pay for the crew, their labor and a dumpster. They claimed they were going to charge him 6,000 dollars. That money would come out of his 40,000 dollar item replacement fund. After some negotiation, they backed down to charging him 1,000, and he may go after his landlord for it, since it is technically his responsibility to clean out the apartment because the fire was his fault.
Instead of paying them to clean the few salvageable things, we took them back to Anthony's new place and did a quick rinse in the sink and then sterilized them in the dishwasher. It's comforting to have the same plates to eat off of, and the pots and pans we love.
It's incredibly depressing to see all of the things you hand picked so carefully be tossed away. We spent so much time making that apartment ours, even though I hadn't moved in yet. We shopped carefully for great deals and things we really loved. I'll admit there were a few things I wanted to replace, but not this way.
A few days after the sorting, the cleaning company and insurance tried to pull some bullshit about charging for the cleaning out of the apartment. Despite the fact that Anthony hadn't been told that he would have to pay, he was given the impression that it was a service the insurance offered. He knew he would have to pay for the salvageable items that the company cleaned, but never that he would have to pay for the crew, their labor and a dumpster. They claimed they were going to charge him 6,000 dollars. That money would come out of his 40,000 dollar item replacement fund. After some negotiation, they backed down to charging him 1,000, and he may go after his landlord for it, since it is technically his responsibility to clean out the apartment because the fire was his fault.
Instead of paying them to clean the few salvageable things, we took them back to Anthony's new place and did a quick rinse in the sink and then sterilized them in the dishwasher. It's comforting to have the same plates to eat off of, and the pots and pans we love.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Second Fire
Tuesday morning after we wandered around the apartment trying to comprehend the damage, we went and check on the fish. Despite the tank full of ash in the bedroom, they were all alive, in both the 29 gallon tank and the 55. We made a quick run to the store for large buckets and aerators and spent several hours making sure every last fish was in the buckets. We even managed to get four of the little tiny baby fish that had been born several months before. We took them to my place and they stayed in buckets on the dining room floor for about four days. I also managed to grab a few of my clothes from the closet that didn't smell like smoke, a few sentimental items and a couple other random things, like the box set of Firefly DVDs that had been in the duffle bag in the bedroom. One of the items of clothing was a gorgeous dress my mom bought me last summer. I wore it to a wedding Anthony was in, and it was (originally) a 250 dollar dress. She didn't pay that much for it, of course, it was on sale, but I would have been devastated if it had been destroyed. We also rescued the irreplaceable antique diamond ring my parents bought me and the necklace Anthony bought me for our first Valentine's Day together. Plus, my medication. All very important things to save.
On wednesday Anthony tried to go to work. Partway through the day he got a call from the field agent from his insurance. He went to the apartment and discussed what was salvageable and what wasn't with her. The bedroom was in fairly good shape, the ceiling was still intact and there hadn't been too much water sprayed around. Shortly after she left, while he was sorting through a few things in the room, he smelled smoke. He could see it coming down from the ceiling above the closet, got out, and called the fire department again. They arrived very quickly, but the closet ceiling collapsed and almost everything in the closet was completely soaked. The bedroom got an additional soaking, and what had been completely salvageable, was now damaged.
On wednesday Anthony tried to go to work. Partway through the day he got a call from the field agent from his insurance. He went to the apartment and discussed what was salvageable and what wasn't with her. The bedroom was in fairly good shape, the ceiling was still intact and there hadn't been too much water sprayed around. Shortly after she left, while he was sorting through a few things in the room, he smelled smoke. He could see it coming down from the ceiling above the closet, got out, and called the fire department again. They arrived very quickly, but the closet ceiling collapsed and almost everything in the closet was completely soaked. The bedroom got an additional soaking, and what had been completely salvageable, was now damaged.
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