Friday, August 19, 2005


Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're
taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe
this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of
the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You
get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay
their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and
we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need
people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently
willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you
don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you
success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to
spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the
country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92
percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines
(you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90
percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all
living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools,
plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92
percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90
percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually
100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,
Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless
we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that
evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and
61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with higher morals
then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they
grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States

Thank you Suzette. That was one of the most entertaining things I've read in a long time.

No More Ghetto!

I am finally done with the ghetto fabulous house at 1002. It is empty, clean and I will never ever have to go back there. My sinuses are rejoicing. Anthony, Katie and Ion were a huge help cleaning it out. Katie came by several nights after work to get the last of the stuff, Ion cleaned up the kitchen (a monumental task). And Anthony is my hero. He cleaned out the ENTIRE basement. For those of you who don't know what it looked like, imagine a garbage dump. With a working washer and dryer. He did it one evening when I went home to my parents' house. It was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I was dreading the thought of cleaning it. Anthony and I took a truckload of trash from the house to the apartment and filled up a whole dumpster here. Ion and Katie came over yesterday to help me get the rest of junk out. I am so relieved to be done with it.

Now I just have to finish unpacking and organizing everything here at the apartment. It's still a bit chaotic at the moment and people are coming over tonight. Speaking of which (should that be typing of which?) anyone who wants to go out to the club tonight to celebrate Joe being home on leave and Erin and Brigit's birthdays, let me know and I'll give you directions. We are meeting here at 9pm.

Monday, August 15, 2005


This past week or so has been absolutely exhausting. Between trying to pack and clean I nearly went insane. The house we were in hasn't been cleaned in about 10 years and it is absolutely disgusting. There is crap there that I don't have a clue who it belongs to, or what to do with it. Here's a quick timeline of what last weekend was like.

Friday: Pack, clean, run to new apartment to pick up keys. Take up a load of kitchen stuff. Collapse for a few minutes. Take a quick shower, attempt to look somewhat presentable. Go with Katie to a party in Flint. Drive Katie home from party because she was way too drunk to drive. (By the way, her new G6 is VERY fun to drive). Shower, collapse in bed.

Saturday: Get up ass early to pack a few more things. Go to apartment with 700 gallons of paint. Paint until our arms fall off. Thank you for all of your help Brigit, we love you! Order a GIANT order of Pokey sticks (story to follow when I have more time). Go back to house. Pack/clean more. Collapse into bed again.

Sunday: Get up ass early. Pack and clean more. Wait for parents to arrive. Load 10 million boxes into a moving truck, Anthony's truck and a my parents' huge van. Drive 5 miles to the new apartment, unload. Collapse.

Sunday wasn't actually as bad as I thought it was going to be, between Katie's parents, my parents, Katie and Anthony we got things loaded and unloaded fairly quickly. After we unloaded we went out to lunch at Clara's. A couple of us had their breakfast buffet. It was so good. That might have been partly because we were starving. I'd been wanting to check it out for years, but I hadn't ever been there on a sunday afternoon before.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Megan is...

megan is the devil
megan is an angel
megan is partially correct
megan is a loser
megan is green
megan is doing an interview
megan is leaving
megan is a rat
megan is so offended
megan is born
megan is number 2000
megan is thrown to the ground
megan is connected to the following things
megan is here with all of us
megan is only 3 years old
megan is my pride and joy
megan is not dying from aids
megan is available to perform with such musical combinations as duos with guitar or piano
megan is admiring the sky
megan is listening to us today
megan is the one who publishes the movies
megan is at wit's end when circumstances change her life in ways she cannot even contemplate
megan is trapped in the game while an electrical fire is sweeping the building
megan is king for a day
megan is the cutest baby
megan is hardly average
megan is straight into this acting stuff in a big way
megan is in her second season with the big red
megan is becoming
megan is confident that everyone can master the basics of floral arrangement
megan is passionate about this genre of literature and this approach to teaching history
megan is very precious
megan is in the fifth grade
megan is happy to oblige
megan is more active now because she feels so much better with the treatments
megan is starting to look more like michael
megan is still a little unsure of what to do with
megan is on stage
megan is one of the leaders of the in group
megan is no longer so frantic
megan is the young adventuresome woman who stows away on the pirate ship as the captains boy
megan is being featured on many canadian tv guides
megan is looking for dustin
megan is now back in school
megan is coming downstairs for her date
megan is saying hello
megan is a great
megan is the very first to actually mention and discuss it
megan is a new and hot model with a great body
megan is doing an interview
megan is unbelievabally thrilled to be in miami
megan is a babe btw
megan is our new friend
megan is delighted
megan is hardly average
megan is not here by choice
megan is an author and freelance writer
megan is no longer so frantic
megan is living the dream
megan is flattered
megan is unable to resist the temptation to create this new machine
megan is so cute
megan is straight into this acting stuff in a big way
megan is up at 4
megan is completely fictional
megan is happy to oblige
megan is clearly an accomplice
megan is just a pawn in soneji’s elaborate chess game
megan is going steady with the team quarterback
megan is now 6 years old and is a true character
megan is already the number one ranked female surfer in the united states

I found a very entertaining site called Googlism . It searches the web for all sorts of interesting things related to your name. I have to say, there were a few parts it was definitely right about. Megan is...the devil. The odd thing was, that was actually the VERY FIRST on the list. I didn't move it around. I deleted a few, and some were repeats, but there you go, if you ever wondered what your name has been doing without you...

Monday, August 08, 2005

Crazy Weekend

This weekend was insane to say the least. Anthony and I left Thursday morning, drove to Kalamazoo, picked up his tux, drove to his parents' house (a half hour past Kzoo), relaxed for a few, got dressed, drove to a rehearsal at Western, then to a dinner in Kzoo, and back to his parents'. The next afternoon we got partially ready, and went back to Western for the wedding. It was very nice. I sat around knitting for the first couple of hours. Anthony was a groomsman and had to put on his tux and be in the pictures. I waited to dress until just before the wedding. No point in ruining the gorgeous dress my mom bought me. I inadvertently matched the bridal party, which worked out, because I sat at the head table. It was a nice wedding. Not exactly my taste, but anyone who knows me should know that when I get married things are going to be a bit creative...The ceremony was gorgeous though. On a deck behind the building, overlooking the trees. It was very pretty and the ceremony was sweet. Anthony looked incredibly hot in a's official, guys should wear them more often. After the ceremony we went inside for cocktails and hors d'oeuvres. Then we went to the reception. They had very yummy crab stuffed salmon, and an ice cream cake. The cake was made by Coldstone Creamery. Apparently it was the first wedding cake they've ever made. Kendalyn talked them into it. It was really really good. I am never a big fan of wedding cake, but if you include ice cream...much better. We hung out with Anthony's friend Trevor for a while at the wedding. He and I spent quite a while discussing what wine snobs we were.

The rehearsal dinner the night before was great. It was at a little bistro. Mixed greens and vinaigrette with goat cheese, chicken and mushroom pasta and berry crisp with vanilla ice cream. Plus, a good chardonnay. Mmm. And it was free...even better. Anthony got a great groomsman gift. A box of 10 Beers of the World from World Market, and an engraved bottle opener.

When we got back to his parents' house after the wedding, a couple of his sisters were there. It was a family reunion weekend. We slept in as late as we possibly could the next day. Luckily we had his old bedroom instead of having to stay in a tent like the rest of his siblings. I am still kinda overwhelmed by the whole family. Mostly just the amount of people, especially kids. I haven't been around that many kids at one time since I was in elementary school. I have finally met ALL of his sisters and brothers. Plus, I got a little time to sit down in smaller groups with them. It's no longer scary, just still something I can't quite wrap my brain around. I do really like how much they look after each other. As his sister Leanne said "we may fight with each other, but if anyone outside the family tries to say something bad about one of us, the rest are there to back them up." It's a nice thought. That was the one thing I hated about being an only child. I apparently am being adopted into the family. One of his nieces gave me a hug when she left and said "cause you're part of the family too now". It was sweet. We also played Bingo (a demented version) late into the night for various prizes. I suck luck is non existent. But Anthony won a giant jar of pickles. Erin and I always said we'd buy one at some point. Well, now I have more pickles than I know what to do with. I did get a cookbook as a consolation prize. (sigh) There's some good recipes in there though. We also roasted marshmallows and made hot iron pies. They are something Anthony has been raving about for months. They're two slices of bread, with butter on the outside, and pie filling in the middle. You put them in little metal presses on sticks and put them in the coals of the fire. QUITE delicious.

Ugh, all I've talked about for the weekend was food. I expected to have gained 5 pounds when I got home, but amazingly enough, I lost a little. That is nothing short of miraculous. We headed out Sunday morning, and drove back to Lansing. I collapsed on the couch, and Anthony went to work. Like I said, the weekend was nothing short of insane.

Ooh, also, on the way home we stopped at a garage sale. We got a big oval mirror and candle sticks for my new apartment, a wooden salad bowl set, and a mesh splatter cooking screen for his place. All for under $15.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

And They're Here!

Well, Marthena didn't give birth that night. They managed to keep the babies from appearing until early wednesday morning. They're both healthy and so is Marthena. They'll stay in the hospital for a few more weeks because they are so tiny. Andrew weighs 4lbs 4oz and Bryan weighs 4lbs 10oz. I am just really happy they're doing well. I guess this means I need to finish up the second baby blanket I am knitting. Although with this weather, they won't need it until January.